


Murder At Sea (Part Two)

by LilyK



Category: Starsky & Hutch
Genre: Gen, transcript
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-12 08:34:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28882521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilyK/pseuds/LilyK
Summary: Starsky and Hutch go undercover on a cruise ship to investigate two drug-related murders, not realizing that there is a meeting of syndicate bosses on the same cruise.
Collections: Starsky & Hutch Original Series Transcripts





	Murder At Sea (Part Two)


    MURDER AT SEA 2
    
    Season 2, Episode 4
    

Original Airdate: October 2, 1976
    
    
    Written by: Ron Friedman
    Directed by: George McCowan
    Created by: William Blinn

Summary: Starsky and Hutch go undercover on a cruise ship to investigate two drug-related murders, not realizing that there is a meeting of syndicate bosses on the same cruise.

Cast:

David Soul ... Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson

Paul Michael Glaser ... Det. Dave Starsky

Antonio Fargas ... Huggy Bear

Bernie Hamilton ... Capt. Harold Dobey

Jean-Pierre Aumont ... Capt. La Rue

Burr DeBenning ... Officer Jensen

José Ferrer ... Crazy Joey Fortune (as Jose Ferrer)

Will Geer ... Commodore Atwater

Lynne Marta ... Helen Carnahan

Kay Medford ... Edna Zelinka

Ron Moody ... Derek Stafford

Robert Walden ... Pompey

Ed Begley Jr. ... Harv Schwab

Marianne Bunch ... Tina

Devon Ericson ... Kitty
    
    
    **Interior – Day – Captain’s Quarters**
    
    STARSKY: He's dead. Not for long, either.
    
    HUTCH: Radio Shack.
    
    
    **Interior – Day - Corridor**
    
    JENSEN: All right. They know what to do if Starsky and Hutch tries to make a call. You just make sure that your people find them, okay?
    
    HUTCH: You get the feeling we've just become the hunted?
    
    STARSKY: Yeah, and the rest of the world's the hunter.
    
    HUTCH: You know something, Starsk? If Jensen's involved in this, maybe Stafford is, and the rest of the crew too.
    
    STARSKY: One thing for sure, the captain isn't.
    
    HUTCH: Who does that leave?
    
    STARSKY: The lady said we're two fish out of water.
    
    
    **Interior – Night – Carnahan’s Cabin**
    
    CARNAHAN: Who is it?
    
    HUTCH: Starsky and Hutchinson.
    
    CARNAHAN: What happened to Hack and Zack?
    
    STARSKY: Just went undercover.
    
    HUTCH: Starsk.
    
    MARTY: Starsky and Hutch may be hiding in the boiler room. Let's check it out.
    
    HUTCH: Quiet.
    
    STARSKY: The hounds are really out tonight.
    
    CARNAHAN: Your cover's been blown, hasn't it? A couple of great cops you are. The world's getting killed around you, and you're out busting heads and playing macho. But the minute the stakes get too hot, you drop the investigation, turn tail and run.
    
    HUTCH: Speaking of covers, I think it's about time we find out what yours is.
    
    CARNAHAN: I told you it was none of your business.
    
    HUTCH: Well, Starsk, I guess there's the easy way to find out, and there's the hard way.
    
    CARNAHAN:  Wait a minute! What do you think you're doing? You have no right. Give me that.
    
    HUTCH: What you got?
    
    STARSKY: Passenger list…  with Mr. and Mrs. Clark  and all the other charming pseudonyms circled.
    
    HUTCH: Where you going?
    
    CARNAHAN: Going straight to the captain to have you physically removed from here.
    
    HUTCH: Well, that might be a little hard to do. The captain was murdered about an hour ago.
    
    STARSKY: Look, Nellie or Helen or whatever your name is today, I think it's about time we found out who you are and what you are about.
    
    CARNAHAN: The name is Helen Carnahan. I'm a reporter with The Phoenix Sun. 
    
    HUTCH: Go on.
    
    CARNAHAN:  October Moss and I were roommates. About a month ago, she called me and said she had a friend who had some information about a high-level syndicate conference that was gonna take place.
    
    STARSKY: Eric Snow. 
    
    CARNAHAN: Only, he wanted $5000 for the information. My paper provided it. I came to town, set up housekeeping and just waited for Eric to deliver.
    
    HUTCH: So that's what he was trying to do the night he was murdered?
    
    CARNAHAN: Yes. The next night, they came after me. Only--
    
    STARSKY: They mistook October for you.
    
    HUTCH: Look, this is the way it is. In the last 48 hours, there have been three murders. Now, we need a place to hide that we won't be found, at least until tomorrow afternoon when this ship docks in Acapulco. Otherwise, we're liable to be number four and five.
    
    CARNAHAN: Why don't you go after them right away?
    
    STARSKY: Terrific. Perhaps you could supply us with a list of the good guys and the bad guys. Because if we make a move now, the only thing we're gonna accomplish is possibly hurt a couple of innocent passengers.
    
    CARNAHAN: What can I say? You wanna bunk here for the night? Make yourselves comfortable.  You don't bother me, I don't bother you. Fair enough?
    
    HUTCH: Fair enough.
    
    **Interior – Day – Carnahan’s Cabin**
    
    CARNAHAN: How do I look?
    
    STARSKY: Very nice.
    
    CARNAHAN: I'm gonna go up and get some breakfast. I'II try and get some for you guys without attracting too much attention. Did you feel that?
    
    STARSKY: Yeah. Felt like the engine stopped.
    
    STARSKY: Hey, Hutch. Hutch. Wake up. Come on. The engine just stopped. Take a rain check on that breakfast.
    
    HUTCH: Yeah.
    
    
    **Exterior – Day – On Deck**
    
    STARSKY: We've slowed down to a near stop. What's going on?
    
    HUTCH: Starsk, that doesn't look like Acapulco to me.
    
    STARSKY: No.
    
    STARSKY: Well, whatever we slowed down for, two to get you one, it's onboard. Hey.
    
    JENSEN: Nice to have you onboard, Mr. Fortune. Had a little trouble last night. l had to remove the captain. We got the situation under control now, and everybody's ready for you.
    
    FORTUNE: Today, it’s important we do things on time. 
    
    HUTCH: It's '' Crazy Joey'' Fortune.
    
    STARSKY: Well, what's he doing onboard?
    
    HUTCH: That's a good question.
    
    STARSKY: How you fix for an answer?
    
    HUTCH: Patsy Cairo.
    
    STARSKY: This thing's getting more complicated every minute.
    
    HUTCH: Let's see how close we can get, huh?
    
    STARSKY: Okay.
    
    
    **Interior – Day – Corridor**
    
    POMPEY: Mr. Fortune. Do you remember me?
    
    FORTUNE: Little Marty. So big, so strong, eh? Hey, you make me feel like an old man.
    
    POMPEY: Please, come inside.
    
    
    **Interior & Exterior – Day – Cairo’s Cabin**
    
    FORTUNE: A salute! 
    
    ALL: Salute.
    
    FORTNE: Some things never change, am I right? The good things never change.
    
    CAIRO: Ah, things change all the time, Joey. We don't always like it, but that's the way life is, huh? 
    
    POMPEY: Oh, Mr. Fortune, how do we repay the debts to you? How do we thank you for giving us everything we have?
    
    STARSKY: What do you see? Wait a sec.
    
    FORTUNE: I got a feeling you boys are trying to tell me something.
    
    STARSKY: What the hell's she doing here?
    
    HUTCH: Who?
    
    STARSKY: Helen.
    
    HUTCH: She's in there?
    
    STARSKY: No, she’s outside, the other porthole.
    
    HUTCH: Starsk. 
    
    (Gunfire.)
    
    CARNAHAN: Give it.  No! No! 
    
    NICKY: Hold it! Drop it! 
    
    JENSEN: All right, hold it right there!  Nicky, get them inside.
    
    NICKY: Hey! Over here. Come on.
    
    
    **Interior – Day – Cairo’s Cabin**
    
    FORTUNE: Hey, come here. You, come here. What's your name?
    
    CARNAHAN: Brown. Nellie Brown.
    
    FORTUNE: Nellie Brown. Ah… Brown ain't right. I remember a good-looking college girl swearing at me across her father's grave. What a mouth she had for a kid. Wasn't Brown then. It was Carnowski. You're Teddy Carnowski's daughter, looking for revenge. You know how to hate, kid. We're not so different. Well… that's all ancient history. Something for everybody to forget, right?
    
    CARNAHAN: Wrong. I'm not gonna forget. Next time, I won't miss.
    
    FORTUNE: Sure. Sure. Next time.
    
    JENSEN: It's clear, but I think we'd better adjourn to a more private location.
    
    NICKY: What about them?
    
    CAIRO: Bring them along. We can't afford to leave any loose ends around. Right, Joey?
    
    FORTUNE: Sure, Patsy, whatever you say. I rely on your judgment.
    
    JENSEN: Gentlemen.
    
    NICKY: Come on.
    
    JENSEN: Wait. All right.
    
    
    **Interior – Day – Below Decks**
    
    FORTUNE: After all, I put together the organisation, so coming back in is a very natural thing. I'm still a young man. Well, I understand. We all live in a democracy, so you wanna vote. Vote.
    
    CAIRO: You still have a lot of class, Joey. We vote.
    
    STARSKY: So your daddy's Teddy Carnowski, huh? Head of the unions. That's an awful long way from The Phoenix Sun. You knew all along that Joey Fortune was gonna be on this ship, didn't you?
    
    HUTCH: Listen, if it means anything to you, we both respected your father a great deal. Admired him for the way he stood up to Fortune.
    
    CARNAHAN: If you felt that way, then why did you stop me from doing what I had to do?
    
    CAIRO: Well, Joey, the vote's in.  Out in the open, Do you know it's all fair and square. You want more money, it's yours. Vegas, Miami, profit sharing, you got it.
    
    FORTUNE: But do I come back in on top? That's the real question, isn't it?
    
    POMPEY: I'm sorry, Joey. No. There's no hard feelings.
    
    FORTUNE: You know, when I come onboard, he called me Mr. Fortune. Why should there be any hard feelings? This is working out just like I planned it. I figured you'd all be disloyal to me, try to stab me in the back. That's why I insisted that the meeting be on the ship. Jensen!
    
    CAIRO: Joey, you still think it’s thirty years ago, huh? Nicky! 
    
    NICKY: Sorry, Patsy. I'm with Mr. Fortune too. 
    
    CAIRO: Well, how do you like that? My own brother.
    
    NICKY: Yeah, your own brother. You treated me like dirt. Besides, like Pop always said, ''Stick with the money, Nicky.''
    
    FORTUNE: Signal the boat. You know, all you boys miscalculated on old Joey. I got everything going for me now. I'm in charge again, after all. You see, I have to be in charge because all of you are gonna die in one of the worst sea disasters of all time. And somebody's gotta mind the store, right?
    
    CAIRO: You know something? You must be getting senile, Joey. It'll take a submarine to sink this tub, and you don't have a navy.
    
    FORTUNE: Five bombs say you're wrong, Patsy. Jensen planted them last night. And they're made, so they can't be disarmed. Sorry it has to end up this way for you, kid. You're tough, like your old man. A fighter. I respect that.
    
    HUTCH: So you wanna be number one again, huh? Why don't you just get rid of your pals here. Why do you wanna blow up a ship?
    
    FORTUNE: Why do you think that they call me ‟Crazy Joey”? Crazy like a fox. Always do the unexpected. Do you think that their boys back home would give me their support if they knew I'd killed off their bosses? Like hell, they would. And I don't want their support if they did. Loyalty is very important.
    
    CARNAHAN: You're talking about 300 people.
    
    FORTUNE: Hey, you're making me sound like a very unfeeling fellow. You know I got a bet going with Nicky that at least half the passengers survive. Besides, who thinks anybody is crazy enough to do what I'm doing just to kill off four or five old friends, huh?
    
    CARNAHAN: Somebody will pin it on you.
    
    FORTUNE: Not a chance, kid. Now, you people in this room are the only ones in the world who know that I left Palermo. I'm gonna get off this ship, go out to where my private jet is waiting for me, and by tonight, I'II be back in Palermo, and nobody will ever know that I left. Unfortunately, the rest of you-- 
    
    POMPEY: You're bluffing, Joey.
    
    FORTUNE: That was number one. Number three, four and five go off in a half an hour from now just to give those who are left time to think about the sharks circling around outside, licking their lips. 
    
    CAIRO: What about number two? When does that go off?
    
    FORTUN E: Oh, yeah. I'm, uh… I'm glad you reminded me of that. I almost forgot. There it is. Goes off in six minutes. Sort of my own personal way of saying goodbye to a lot of old, close friends.
    
    JENSEN: Boat's here.
    
    FORTUNE: I'II never forget you.
    
    
    POMPEY: Let me at it.
    
    CAIRO: Wait. What are you doing?
    
    POMPEY: I'm gonna throw that thing out the porthole.
    
    CAIRO: What, are you crazy? You touch it, it might go off.
    
    POMPEY: It's gonna go off anyway, isn't it? What do you wanna do? You wanna stand here and look at it? What do you wanna do?
    
    CAIRO: I don't know.
    
    POMPEY: Guys, open the porthole.
    
    HUTCH: Don't touch it! 
    Now, what do you guys know about bombs?
    
    POMPEY: Well, what do you know about bombs?
    
    HUTCH: I know if you touch that box and don't know what you're doing, you're gonna blow yourself and everybody else out of here.
    
    CAIRO: What do you mean? What are you talking  about?
    
    STARSKY: What we're talking about is police demolition and little things like impact switches. 
    
    HUTCH: Delayed fuses.  
    
    STARSKY: Directional fuses.
    
    HUTCH: Pressure-sensitive detonators. 
    
    STARSKY: Trembler switches.
    
    POMPEY: Well, we're running out of time.
    
    CAIRO: Wait a minute. Cut them loose.
    
    
    **Interior – Day – Captain’s Quarters**
    
    STAFFORD: Captain, there has definitely been some sort of explosion aboard. Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear. Oh, dear, oh, dear.
    
    
    **Interior – Day – Below Decks**
    
    HUTCH: Easy. Easy. All right, grab that table. Turn it up on end, lean it against the door.
    
    STARSKY: Come on, come on, come on. Grab some more sandbags.
    
    STARSKY: Move it back a little. Move it back! That's it, that's it. Bring it down, now. Right under the switch there. You got it. You. Okay. Get these out of here. Get them out of here.
    
    POMPEY: We've got one minute.
    
    STARSKY: Come on. One more.
    
    POMPEY: Fifty seconds.
    
    STARSKY: Another sandbag. Okay. Bring it.
    
    POMPEY: Forty seconds.
    
    STARSKY: Put another sandbag in there! Look at the time. What's the time? Give me the time!
    
    POMPEY: Thirty-two seconds.
    
    STARSKY: Come on. What have you got?
    
    POMPEY: Twenty-five seconds.
    
    STARSKY: Okay, get in the room. Come on, get in the room! Get in the room. Get in the room. Okay, come on, come on. Come on.
    
    CARNAHAN: Do you think it'll work?
    
    STARSKY: It ain't definite. But at moments like these, it's comforting to know you got a partner that bathes.
    
    STAFFORD: Right, that's far enough! Now, nobody is to move until I've had an explanation. Most preposterous story I ever heard. Except it would explain why the captain's dead and Jensen's missing.
    
    HUTCH: Look, Stafford, there are three more of those devices left on the ship. And if we don't find them, you better hope that your passengers can tread water.
    
    STARSKY: We have seventeen minutes, if we're lucky.
    
    STAFFORD: Seventeen minutes. Right, for three bombs to sink Amapola, they gotta be below or near the water line.  Go on, hop it. Try the engine room and the cargo hold.
    
    HELEN: What can I do?
    
    HUTCH: I don't know.
    
    STAFFORD: I'II attend to these gentlemen, and then check the lifeboats. Go on, miss, frisk them.
    
    
    **Interior – Day – Engine Room – Cargo Hold**
    
    HUTCH: Let's split up, huh? I'll take the fantail.
    
    STARSKY: Fantail?
    
    HUTCH: I got the front. You take the back.
    
    STARSKY: Got it.
    
    HUTCH: Hey!
    
    STARSKY: See you around.
    
    ZELINKA Oh, Mr. Zack, just the one we want to see. Bertha's been practicing her new routine all morning.
    
    HUTCH: I'm sure it's wonderful, but now it's everybody on deck. We got a new game.
    
    ZELINDA: A new game. I love games! 
    
    PASSENGER: Hey!
    
    HUTCH: Nitro. Easy. Easy.
    
    STARSKY: Hutch! 
    
    HUTCH: Yeah?
    
    STARSKY: How many you got?
    
    HUTCH: I got one!
    
    STARSKY: We got two!
    
    HUTCH: You got two?
    
    STARSKY: No, I got one! 
    
    HUTCH: We got two! 
    
    STARSKY: Yeah! 
    
    HUTCH: We’re looking for three! 
    
    STARSKY: Terrific.
    
    HUTCH: Starsky.
    
    STARSKY: What? 
    
    HUTCH: I got it. We got it.
    
    STARSKY: Jeez. Fortune wasn't fooling any, was he? Where you going? Get it from over here. You can reach through here.
    
    HUTCH: I got it from here. How much time we got left?
    
    STARSKY: Four minutes. Don't go away. How you doing? I got an idea. Don't go away. I'II be right back. Easy. I got it, I got it, I got it. I got it.
    
    HUTCH: The middle one.
    
    STARSKY: I got it.
    
    HUTCH: Come on. Okay.
    
    STARSKY: Okay.
    
    HUTCH: You keeping tension. 
    
    STARSKY: Lot of tension.
    
    HUTCH: Okay. Let's go. Let's go!
    
    STARSKY: Up there. Okay, okay.
    
    HUTCH: Okay.
    
    STARSKY: Put it down. Give me the rope.
    
    HUTCH: Just take one end of it.
    
    STARSKY: Fast.
    
    HUTCH: Go!  Easy! Look out!
    
    PASSENGER: Where you guys going?
    
    (Throws bombs.) 
    
    STARSKY: I don't know about you, but when we get home, I’m gonna slip a fiver to the first holy man I see.
    
    
    **Interior – Day – Bridge**
    
    CARNAHAN: You sure you know what you're doing?
    
    STAFFORD: Do you read me, San Carlos Station? Respond, please. 
    
    MAN: Si, AmapoIa, we are here. 
    
    CARNAHAN: Hutch! 
    
    MAN: Our authorities have confirmed identities of police officers Starsky and Hutchinson
    with American Consulate. We are authorized to assist you. 
    
    HUTCH: That's beautiful. T(on radio) his is Detective Hutchinson. Wanted criminals left this ship by boat less than an hour ago, presumably headed for a Mexican airfield. Can you help us? Over. (pause)
    
    STARSKY: : There's only one Mexican airfield they can reach from here. They'd have to land their boat near this road.
    
    MAN: (on radio) We are sending a government helicopter to your position. We should have you within 10 minutes, but we will only be able to transport you as far as the coast. 
    
    HUTCH: Can you provide us with a pursuit vehicle?
    
    MAN: We will try to provide something. 
    
    HUTCH: Thanks. (end)
    
    STAFFORD: By God, there's nothing like a spot of danger to make the old blood race, is there?
    
    
    **Exterior – Day – On Shore**
    
    FORTUNE: All right, where's Nicky? My brain's baking out here.
    
    JENSEN: I know. He went for the jeep, Mr. Fortune. He'll be back here any minute.
    
    FORTUNE: Yeah.
    
    JENSEN: Hey, Mr. Fortune.
    
    FORTUNE: Yeah? Well, it's about time. Help me up. Now drive and get me out of this sun.
    
    HUTCH: Starsk, there it is.
    
    STARSKY: Thank you!
    
    HUTCH: I'II drive.
    
    STARSKY: Sure you know what you're doing?
    
    HUTCH: Yeah, I was raised in one of these things.
    
    FORTUNE: Take it easy. Take it easy! Every one of those bumps is going right through me.
    
    NICKY: Sorry, Mr. Fortune, but we can't stop again if we're gonna to get to the airport
    when you wanted to.
    
    FORTUNE: Well, take it easy.
     
    STARSKY: I know this isn't the best time to talk about it, but what exactly did you do in Duluth?
    
    HUTCH: That depends. 
    
    STARSKY: On what?
    
    HUTCH: The day of the week. 
    
    JENSEN: Hey, we got company. 
    
    STARSKY: I feel like I'm eating the desert.
    
    HUTCH: Surprise!
    
    STARSKY: Hutch! 
    
    HUTCH: Will you take it easy, Starsk?
    
    STARSKY: How are we gonna stop them?
    
    HUTCH: Watch this!
    
    STARSKY: Watch out for the tree!
    
    HUTCH: What tree?
    
    STARSKY: I can't see a bloody thing! 
    
    HUTCH: Just hang on!
    
    FORTUNE: What's the matter? You crazy?
    
    HUTCH: Take it easy, buddy. I'm a certified pilot. Don't look down, Starsk! 
    
    STARSKY: Here they come!
    
    FORTUNE: Hey, wait a minute. Get me out of here.
    
    NICKY: Nah. We're gonna nail them when they come over the top.
    
    STARSKY: Olly, olly, in free.
    
    HUTCH: Don't move.
    
    FORTUNE: Hey, I'm unarmed.
    
    HUTCH: Welcome home, Joey.
    
    
    **Interior – Day – Ballroom on Amapola**
    
    STAFFORD: Attention, please, ladies and gentlemen. I'm sure you will all agree that Mr. Hack and Mr. Zack did their best to amuse you
    on this trip.
    
    HUTCH: Thank you.
    
    STAFFORD: Yes, they did their best. Thank you. 
    
    HUTCH: Thank you.
    
    STARSKY: Thank you. 
    
    STAFFORD:  Hop it.
    
    STAFFORD: And I now take-- Thank you. I now take great pleasure, as the newly appointed captain of this boat ship, in introducing a friend of theirs, Mr. Huggerini the Incredible, it says here.
    
    STARSKY: Wait till you see this. It's terrific.
    
    HUGGY: Thank you. Thank you and good afternoon, devotees of the magical mysteries. Prepare yourself to go out of your gourds with childish wonder and delight, as I perform for the first time my famous ''Thousand Swords.''
    
    STARSKY: Thousand what?
    
    HUTCH: Swords.
    
    HUGGY: And now my assistant, Bertha.
    
    ZELINKA: That's my baby! 
    
    BERTHA: I'm in show biz, Ma.
    
    ZELINKA: Baby Bertha.
    
    HUTCH: Would you excuse us? Excuse us.
    
    STARSKY: Excuse us, Mrs. Zelinka.
    
    HUTCH: Huggy. 
    
    STARSKY: Huggy. Come here.
    
    HUTCH: Why didn't you just stick with the straitjacket? What's this swords routine?
    
    STARSKY: What are you gonna do with those swords?
    
    HUGGY: Never fear, the wizard is here. Ah, lovely lady, are you ready to flaunt the magical daggers
    of disaster?
    
    BERTHA: Yes, O great black one.
    
    HUGGY: Step into the cabinet of mayhem and place your very life in these wondrous hands.
    
    STARSKY: He doesn't know what he's doing. He's gonna fill her full of holes. 
    
    HUTCH: Starsky, we gotta do something to- let the world know how wonderful this man is.
    
    STARSKY: Really, he's terrific.
    
    HUTCH: We've seen his act a thousand times.
    
    STARSKY: He's fantastic. Magnificent. 
    
    HUTCH: Beautiful.
    
    STARSKY: Wait till you see it.
    
    HUGGY: Thank you. I now close the cabinet. And now the placement of the first razor-sharp sword. Solid steel. 
    
    BERTHA: Yeah?
    
    HUGGY: Ready?
    
    BERTHA: Ready. This is my big chance, Ma.
    
    STARSKY: The view's better over here.
    
    END
    
    


End file.
